Emily knew a lot of things as a 6 year old.
One thing that she was becoming certain of was the fact that little boys were stupid.
“I was a little boy once,” Dad said.
“You’re only supporting her argument,” her mother concluded with a smile.
Emily thought about it. “You don’t count Daddy. You’re not a boy. You’re a Daddy.”
Her father picked her up and they hugged. He wiped a solitary tear from her cheek which ran down her face just to the left of a quivering lip. Her face was red and indignant.
She decided she was more angry than hurt.
“Which knee was it Em?” Dad asked. He brushed the brown hair away from her eyes.
She pointed to her right knee. Her father walked with her and placed her on the piano bench in the music room. He examined it slowly.
“I think we’re going to have to cut it off. What a shame. You won’t as good of a dancer with only one leg.” He called out of the room. “Mom. Go and get my saw in the garage! We have to do an operation.”
“Daddy no!.” she yelled.
“Alright, alright. This will have to do then.” Dad kissed the knee then proceeded to grasped the thigh with his thumb and forefinger just above the knee. He squeezed in just the right spot like Mom’s and Dad’s do.
Emily howled in laughter. Mommies and Daddies were the worst ticklers in the world. Dad was particularly terrible. She wouldn’t be surprised if one day these vicious tickling’s resulted in the deaths of her or her brother. Perhaps there were other siblings before her that she didn’t even know about that hadn’t survived. These crimes are constantly covered up by grown-ups everywhere.
She regained composure as the face of laughter turned from happy to angry. Dad tickled a bit longer but mercifully stopped. He looked at the small angry face.
“Woah now. I don’t want any trouble,” he said, smiling.
She took her tiny hand and smacked the back of his big Dad hand and turned her attention back to the original source of anger.
“Kevin is so stupid Daddy,” she said.
“What did Kev do?” Dad asked.
“He took the big hammer from me and pushed me.”
The hammer she referred to was none other than Thor’s hammer (the toy of course, not the real one).
“Why did he do that?”
Emily crossed her arms, “Because boys are stupid!”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Dad said.
It was true though. It was widely known that little boys could be very stupid.
“It’s true!” she said.
“You mean he wasn’t very nice,” Dad responded.
“And he was stupid.” Emily repeated.
“Sweetie, we shouldn’t call people that. Even when we’re mad.” He leaned in close and lowered his voice to a whisper. “But here’s a secret, little boys can be stupid. Everyone can be, even me.”
“Daddy, you’re not stupid.”
“Sometimes I am. Now why did Kevin take the hammer?” Dad asked.
“Because he’s stu…”
“Ah ah, Be nice. What did he say?”
She changed her expression from angry to hurt. Her lip stuck out as she spoke.
“He said girls can’t use Thor’s hammer.”
“That’s silly,” said Dad.
He stood up and walked over to the stairwell.
“Kevin!” he yelled up the stairs.
Quiet.
He waited a few moments and in a more stern tone repeated, “Kevin, I know you’re there. Come down please. Don’t make me ask again or I’ll be cross.”
Kevin popped his head out from his bedroom door. He had ran the moment his sister began crying. She was being dramatic. It was widely known that little girls could be very stupid.
Especially little sisters.
He came downstairs, holding the plastic hammer. Kevin looked sheepish, unsure of the trouble. The guilty party walked toward Dad like a prisoner walks to the judge.
“Kevin, why did you take the hammer from your sister?” asked Dad.
“I was gonna use it,” Kevin said.
“But she was playing with it Kevin,” Dad responded.
“But she…”
“She what?” asked Dad.
“She was using it wrong,” answered Kevin.
“I was not!” yelled Emily.
“How was she using it wrong?” Dad continued.
“She’s a girl Dad. Girls can’t use Thor’s hammer.” Kevin said in defiance.
“Kevin, why can’t girls use Thor’s hammer?”
“She’s not strong enough and Thor is a boy,” he snapped. Wasn’t it obvious?
Dad nodded his head and looked back and forth between the two children.
“What if I told you…that you were way wrong on both counts?”
“What are you talking about?” asked Kevin.
Dad took the hammer out of Kevin’s hand and looked at it. He paced a little bit and then held it in front of him.
“Well first off I’m assuming you’re talking about comic books Thor…like Avengers Thor.”
Dad waited for a moment. Puzzled small faces looked back.
“Okay I’ll take that as a yes,” said Dad.
Dad placed the hammer in Emily’s hand. She looked quite pleased.
“First off, even the Hulk can’t pick up the hammer and he’s so strong. It’s about being worthy. Not being strong.”
“But Thor’s still a boy,” said Kevin, unsatisfied.
“But if you’re worthy, you can hold the hammer,” said Dad. “Doesn’t matter who you are.”
Kevin pressed the issue. “But Dad, girls aren’t worthy.”
“Kevin, first off. That’s not a nice thing to say. Don’t ever say that. Beyond that, some girls are stronger than me Kevin. Some girls can lift way more heavy things than I can.”
Kevin looked shocked, “Really?”
“Yes, and beside that, strength doesn’t just have to do with muscle either.”
Kevin considered this. Emily gripped the hammer proudly.
Dad continued, “Boys and girls have differences. And some people don’t even like to be called boys and girls. That’s all okay. Our differences are very important. It makes us special. It would be boring if we were all the same.”
Kevin slouched, “I guess so.”
Dad perked up with a smile, “Also I hate to break it to you kiddo, but there are issues of Thor where Thor is a girl.”
“What? No way. Are you joking Dad?” Kevin was in disbelief.
“Not even a little bit,” Dad answered.
Dad counted on his fingers as he continued, “Plus it’s a toy and you should share. And you didn’t wait your turn, and you shouldn’t have pushed your sister, and you weren’t very nice.”
Emily stuck her tongue out.
“Don’t be smug Em. No one likes a bad victor. Remember, you need to be worthy to have the hammer.”
She looked sheepish, so did Kevin.
Kevin looked at Emily and said, “Sorry Em.”
“I’m not Emily,” she said, holding the hammer over her head smiling. “I’m Thor!”
“Thank you Kevin,” said Dad. His face turned menacing. “Now who wants to be tickled? Kevin? Em…er..Thor?”
Emily and Kev looked at each other with fear they tried to make a break for it but Dad’s reach was too long to let them escape. Dad was particularly terrible at tickling.