Site icon Matt Durante

Gender-less Geekyness

Super Geek Life has been up for 3 months now.

It’s been a wild ride and very fun for me to human guinea pig myself with all kinds of physical and mental experiments. Currently I am more productive than ever before: writing, exercising and taking on new skills. As a recap, I did a 30 day full body fitness challenge. I learned how to make ninja vanish smoke bombs. I started doing Duo-Lingo and I swear to you (I’m on my 88th day straight of doing it) I can read Italian almost effortlessly. I’m on my 94th day of Headspace and meditating daily has created a huge difference in my life. I’ve also journaled daily (three pages a day) since February 12th. That’s a total of 91 days or 273 pages!

Additionally I’m branching out of my comfort zone. I am currently doing a 30 day yoga challenge. I will write up a full article on to include my preconceptions about yoga when I am done.

I have been very pleased at the results of Super Geek Life. People have read the articles, viewed the videos, and I have received good positive interest and feedback. In launching the Facebook page in conjunction with the website one thing that I noticed that I’m very pleased with is that both genders and several age groups seem to be responding. People from all over the world, different races, religions, and nationalities have been reading (I have the google analytics to prove it). One thing that is astounding me in a good way and is destroying many of my own preconceived notions is the number of female geeks. This is a completely positive notion for me and admittedly I did not expect the numbers to be so strong from the ladies.

Thank you lady geeks!

​I saw a meme the other day that made me laugh. It stated “Someone told me you fight like a girl…I told him if he worked on technique and moved a little faster he would too.” This pleases me to no end. If you knew some of the beautiful and strong women that I know that are adept trainees of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu you would agree with the meme. If you’re some drunken a-hole in a dark alley, you should pray that you don’t end up squaring up against one of these ladies. These folks prove that you can be a mom, you can be sensitive and caring, a CEO, a doctor, a lawyer, a leader, a soldier/sailor/marine/airmen, and still be tough as nails and be able to open up a can of whoop ass and it makes me smile.
We live in an interesting time where we are only just really getting into the rest of the gender gap. Sure we have shuffled around a few laws for legal equality, but I refer more to the hearts and minds of the people. We have an age where gender roles are becoming more and more blurry in spite of the differences nature forces upon us. I find this to be a good thing.
I’m a father of two, a boy and a girl and it pleases me to know that despite the handful of numskulls that are still out there we’re generally moving in the right direction. That said I still treat my little girl like a princess, but that princess is going to know how to choke someone out as well as go to her dance class (if she so desires).

What about the boys?

The thing is and this doesn’t get discussed enough either, I expect the same of my son. If he wants to take dance classes as well as do martial arts of course I support this. Anyone who gets hung up on where their kids interests lay are doing it out of insecurity. Your kid will end up how they will end up regardless of what you do to try and constrain them. The best you can do is keep them safe and support positive interests and activities. Do teach both genders life skills even if you associate them with one gender. Foster imagination, education, and curiosity; the rest they figure out by themselves regardless of whether they pick up a doll or action figure.
Both of my kids are going to know how to shoot, how to start a fire, change a tire, learn to cook, learn to clean, learn basic survival skills, do basic mechanical maintenance, learn first aid, how to change diapers, and how to troubleshoot electronics, and many other life skills which should be considered gender-less (unfortunately many of these tasks are associated with one of the two biological genders).“But his peers will give him a hard time if I let him pick the pink thing or take a dance class.” You will tell me. While I can kind of see your point, this is still coming from your insecurity. Your best course of action is to stand behind and support your child’s genuine interests (of course with safety in mind). Society is what is actually bothering you.

The collective noise and your preconceived hangups

This is based off of a collective group of adults sitting around and all being afraid to let their little boy take a tap dancing lesson or their little girl do wrestling because they’re afraid of the implications to the children’s sexuality or where they will lie on the masculine-feminine scale.  This type of thinking is learned behavior from their upbringing. Don’t be afraid of this. If you feel that what your child does or plays with is what makes them choose those paths you’re mistaken. That is hard wired, and if you don’t believe that, you’re not the sort of person that should be reading this anyway. At the risk of alienating too many people what I’m actually saying is that you’re getting hung up on the wrong details and you should be proud of our young men and women for breaking down barriers and closing the gender gap more and more.
I will go back to my daughter though because if she follows the lead of her parents she too will become a geek and while I will be proud of my sons geek-dom, socially acceptable and respected female geek-dom is becoming more and more prevalent. This is important.

Awesome time for lady geeks and mainstream media

Wonderful strong female role models are coming up in the world. I look at the comic book universe alone and am excited to show my son and daughter. Wonder Woman, Black Widow, Jessica Jones, and a host of others all the way back to the Kill Bill series. We are talking about some hard hitting empowered female roles that are on par with the best characters I love in male geek-dom.
The point is that we are moving towards gender-less geekyness. We are getting to the point where we are seeing superheroes first, not a man superhero and a woman superhero/heroine. To make this trend real and lasting we have to foster this and accept it. Yes our genders still remain important; I am not suggesting that all roles be neutralized. I am suggesting that a hero, a scientist, a human being, should be seen and acknowledged first, and then you may notice the rest of the spectrum that makes up who they are (gender, race, religion, etc.), this way your preconceived notions don’t ruin it.
I will love my kids whatever they decide to do. I want them to be strong fully realized individuals. Being a geek is spectacular. The principles of Super Geek Life are to follow your passion and never stop learning. Far be it from anyone to tell you what you can or cannot do, or even be interested in simply because you don’t match their mental archetype. Even though we’re moving in the right direction we’re far from there yet.
Live the values with me and help to continue the positive momentum.

STAY GEEKY!

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